one of my dreams that became a reality

FINALLY brought my katy perry tickets today! phew i was extremely worried that they would be sold out so i was praying and hoping that they had at least two left for me and ella. i dont really sort of write this kind of blog genre, just like diary writing but i think i could probably get used to it.

the realization of katy perry still hasn't sunk in properly, it will seem more real when it comes closer to the date.

this week has been mock exams throughout, however the odd matter is that i actually enjoyed myself and the exams. most of them were really easy like sociology and statistics however i.t and welsh were just terrible, especially welsh. i think that this year i really want to try in school, no drama no guys nothing. just study and stuff. this week i also went to central perk with habbiba, caitlyn, nadira,sayda,arman, alika and charlie it was fun, i just wished that ella and louise were there as well they would have really enjoyed it. but saturday was just the best day!

first me and ella got our katy perry tickets for october, then we went to the library when louise came. it seems blunt but honestly it was such a fun day.

lmfaaaaaao lloyd was just telling me about how ryan is sleeping on the floor drooling, maybe i find it funny because i laugh at most things.

importance of reliance

it has only been in the recent weeks that i have realised how much we depend on others in our everyday lives. most of us pride ourselves on being self sufficient but the truth is that we rely on others in every aspect of life. Every single thing we do is based around others, whether it is choosing what to wear for the day, buying something for lunch or simply having a nice warm shower in the afternoon. if it were not for others they way they judges us, it would not matter what we wore each day because we would dress how we wanted. If it weren't for others and their skills in cooking we would have to make our own lunch everyday, and if it werent for the hard work of others we would not have hot and clean water rushing through our taps on a daily basis.

when we are sad we rely on other people to make us happy and unbeat. when we are happy we need other people to see and recongnise our happiness in order to validate it. we require other people to judge our looks and tell us whether we are ugly, pretty, skinny, fat , tall or short. the reliance on other people is important in life as we move forward and learn to love but it also falls back on us as wer rely on less on our own thoughts and more on the thoughts of the judgment of others. depression can be brought on by the feelings of uslessness and indequacy that are triggered by the other people and thier successes. it sounds pathetic and selfish but when you think about it how can you feel indequate if you have nothing to live up to?

the majority of people spend their entire life searching for the one, for their partner that is made to make them feel compelete. one of the main accomplisments in an adult life is getting marries which reietrates the importance of finding another person to make yourself feel compeled. on of the first things asked as a teenage girl is ' do you have a boyfriend' this constant questioning about a teenagers reliance on another person can make someone who is not with a partner feel mediocre and outisde the social norm.
however, the teen years are the most important times for finding ones identity and a place in the world and is one of the key times to find out the truths about the world. it is a times to learn that no everyone is going to be trustworthy and caring, people will hurt you and let youd own but that just about leaning who are they ones that you should care about. the only people worth bothering about in your life are the ones that bother you, and the ones you trust and you truly care about. you life is too short to be wasted on people who would not waste theirs on you.

sometimes it can take something dramatici to realise how important other people eand relationships are in your life, such as death or ilness in a loved one or the illness in yourself that requires help from someone else. luckily ive realised that.

much love

soulmates?

I believe in a lot of things but for some apprant reason I can never get my head around to think about someone that is going to be exactly like me, the person who is just right. We all want the perfect guy, or if we're a boy we would want the perfect girl, however hard we try we are never going to find them. I like to believe I'm going to meet someone who is going to be different, exciting, someone who is going to like the same interests as me. They have to be different but not that different. It's like the saying that opposites attract.

If we spend all of our time searching for that perfect person, then I can tell you that we're never going to find them. However amazing and great a person is seen by the eyes of others we can still find mistakes in everybody. Like the good old Hannah Montana song nobody's perfect. cheeesy.

its strange but true that we can find love in the places where we never thought of.
wish me luck with the exams
much love

living for a purpose

Most of my life I've felt like I'm living for something or someone, just so I can have an aim to reach for. Life is hard, I'm not going to lie most of my life has been struggle. Everybody takes me as this weird crazy girl that has no feelings at all, it's quite sad that people judge me just by the way I act, they don't really take the time to get to know me.

Living for a aim/goal is hard, you don't always get the right things in life that can help you presume your dreams. For example exam results I might not have the accurate exam grade that I want to be able to study something that I enjoy in life. Something that's going to take me somewhere. Why would you want to live for something just to find out you can be disappointed later in life. Why not just live life the way it is, take it in every day.

That's the thing about us humans, we always want something, we can never be truly happy with what we've got. Some people might disagree with me on this particular issue however deep down inside they know it's true.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that you don't always have to have a goal or a dream or a plan even, sometimes you've just got to take life as it is, a day a time.

I'm just going to end this with the above cheesy sentence.

independently

It's been a really long day today and to be completely honest I don't really like to rant about how my life is so miserable on blogger. However I just feel like talking, to someone who will actually want to listen to me, and why not talk to the random people that every now and then take a look at my blog.

I've been let down quite a few times and I still pretend to be OK. However this year I feel like I have completely changed some may think for the worst however I feel like this change has been good for me. I'm now understanding how preferentially I am not really trusted by most people, I'm not going to say that this is a bad thing trusting someone is hard and could take a lot of time. However I have noticed that even if I went missing for about 3287462845837... years people still wouldn't notice. Although I try to be happy because its my last year in High School, sometimes I just feel like I want to dissapear and wishing no-one ever knew about me. I sound quite depressed which is normally the opposite of me ( I'm not depressed by the way) I try and be this happy person but sometimes I have my down days, and honestly I feel like people only like me when I'm the crazy happy person, they wouldn't truly care if I wasn't feeling OK.

However I have decided that from now on, I'm going to try this independent thing, that way I know I would have no one to go to when I'm sad or upset, that may seem like a bad thing, but right now I feel like this is the right thing to do. I don't usually swear but I've realised that I don't really give a fuck if people don't like me, I am who I am and I'm never going to change just to please someone.

Well that was one hell of a rant, I should probably go do some media coursework since I'm quiet behind

blergh!

a persons poem;

I would describe myself as being very similar to a poem.

Upon first reading, a poem probably seems pretty standard. A few rhymes here and there, some alliteration, and maybe some sibilance thrown in if you’re getting a bit sophisticated. Just like me. Upon first glance I seem to be pretty average and normal, albeit being shorter than other 15/16 year old girls.

When you read the poem again, you get taken a bit deeper. New ideas, meanings and interpretations pop into your head about the piece. Just like me. When you come up and meet me, you experience my personality and the kind of person I am. Warm, friendly, kind and pretty loud to be honest.

When you separate the poem into stanzas, even more meaning is developed and even more messages are revealed within the poem. Just like me. The second time we meet, you might notice a new aspect of my personality that you didn’t see before. You may learn more and more about me and what I like to do, the way I think and maybe even about my family.

It could take a few times meeting me to realise that this is my true personality. Just like reading a poem.. sometimes you can read it a thousand times before realising its true meaning.

Just like a poem, I am interesting to begin with, difficult and confusing, but once you take the time to understand me, everything will become clear.

11/15/2010

So I have decided that I want to blog daily (if I have the time) about my adventurous lifestyle. It's not really that interesting but I had to say something you keep you guys reading.
Today was something that I would never forget. Little memories that I would probably treasure for the rest of my life. To begin with it was my friend Habbiba's birthday today ( Happy birthday again) and to make it special we all went to McDonald. As we were enjoying our lunch we were also planning our 'prank' to play. We decided that we were going to fake a car with our friends and go through the drive through. We did try this out but unfortunately it did not go as we planned, it was still however a lot of fun.
I might have not mentioned this in the above paragraph however we are in school, so we had to make sure we were back in school on time. On our way back to school, me, ella, habbiba and louise decided that we were going to sing random Hannah Montana songs on our way back to school. As we proceeded through our journey we were accompanied by random bulging eyes staring at us wondering why on earth we were singing so loud. It was really nice to know that we didn't have to worry about anything at the moment, as we were involved everything was alright. This just shows how immature I am, singing loudly at the age of 15/16. Hopefully I won't be acting like this in twenty years time. HOPEFULLY.
To continue the day off, me and my friend Habbiba ( it was her birthday) decided that we were going to give in our college application forms at St Davids. On the way there we had to make a few stops such as tesco, the post office, hallifax. In all these places we couldn't help but laugh at the situation we found ourselves at. So after walking all that way up to the college, we realised that our parents had not signed for the application, which meant that we had wasted all this time for nothing.
Although it was really aggravating we couldn't help but laugh at the situation.
Over all today has been a pretty good day, with memories that I will always remember.
Oh and I promise to write a proper blog with a subject and meaning and stuff by the end of this week. Just been kind of busy with certain issues.
Much love.