Monday, 26 July 2010

multiple bodies

After a series of unfortunate events recently, I feel compelled to write about friendship. What is friendship? When we are in nursery, our friends are those who have the cool crayons that they are willing to share. Friends are easily made and there is no conflict, no fights and no racism. Love beats all things when you are young. However as we get older our friendships change, and unfortunately they become more serious. We are awoken to the horrors of the world – crime, racism, poverty, injustice.. and this affects everything we do. Our friends are chosen more carefully and we often have issues trusting people. Tiffs are inevitable as personalities clash, but the saddeset thing is when a friendship falls to pieces over the smallest wee thing. Teen and adult friendships can be broken beyond repair, but in nursery fights would be resolved with a hug and a kiss, and then we would all play on the playground for hours like nothing had happened. This is one of the many reasons I respect children highly.. they are so forgiving, so innocent and so beautiful. They are our future, and however underrated and badly treated they are, I will always be the one to harbour utmost respect for them.

Friendships are so fragile and precious, and I live in constant fear of my friendships falling apart. Something so beautiful and delicate is easy to break, and some people do not understand this. I will never take my friendships for granted as I know I am incredibly lucky to have them. My friends bring me endless joy and laughs, there is no other people I would like to spend my life with. They bring colour to my black and white world and make me smile even on my darkest day.

memories are precious little things

Memories play a very important part in life as we know it, whether they help us in the future or just aid us in telling stories to our grandchildren around the fire. Memories are created every day; the cutest baby we have ever seen, our friend cracking a hilarious joke and our first kiss are all things we wish were imprinted in our minds forever, captured in our hearts and pinned on a little corkboard in our memory. We want to capture them and never let them go – almost like trapping an insect inside of a glass jar and screwing the lid on extra tight. The insect doesn’t flourish or change, it stays exactly the same just like our precious memories.

The earliest memory I have is when I was three years old. It was a sunny summer’s day and I was sitting with my mother in our living room on my tiny plastic play chairs. Our family friend walked through the open door, cheerily said hello and ruffled my hair as he always did. It’s remembering things like this that make me love life; so many people go out of their way to make other people’s lives better and easier. Every time we saw our friend he would ruffle my hair, and still does it occasionally today. It takes me back to the happy and carefree life I had as a toddler, and reminds me of the easy friendships that were made and hours spent giggling and laughing over the silliest things. It is only now that I realise how much of a nuisance I must have been to my parents – laughing nonstop and squealing to my heart’s content. But I didn’t know any better; it was my way of expressing my love for the world and things around me, my appreciation of nature, love, friendships and colours. Memories of my childhood have changed the way I view the world today, as I realise that even though it is filled with corruption, deceit and sin there are good people in the world. I have realised that children are our future, and if we treat them with love and respect they will grow up to be valuable members of society with a positive outlook on life.

As humans, we are all naturally nomadic and restless, always moving from place to place and never settling for long. We always look towards the next milestone in life, the next “big thing”, the next birthday, tomorrow. While we focus on the future, who will focus on today? As amazing things are happening in your life, take the time to enjoy them. Savour them like you would the last piece of chocolate on Earth – don’t wolf it down, nibble it slowly, enjoying every bite. Do your best to capture these moments in your heart and memory, you’ll never get them back.

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

teenage lust

The thing with teenagers is that we instantly fall for a guy/girl, mostly of the common factor of looks. I truly dislike seeing a really handsome guy on the t.v/movies/streets etc. and knowing that i will never be able to know them, or even have the opportunity to talk to them. Girls, especially if we see a guy that has all the factors that we like, we instantly like to say that we are in love. Of course thats not true.

Love can be lust, especially if you don't know the person. Love is a really strong word and i do regret saying to people when i genuine had to feeling for them. To me, if a guy tells me that he loves me, it would have been awkward not to say it back, but these days ive really changed . I stand up for my opinion and stick up for what i believe in. What really annoys me is new couples that have got together for only a couple of days, and they insist that they are in love with each other. Personally to me, that's just lust. Love and lust are two very different issues, but they are often mistaken for each other. I guess what im trying to say is that many people might think and believe that they are in love, when really they might not have any feelings for each other at all. And at the end of the day, someone ends up getting hurt.

imperfect is the new perfect

Everytime I want to write about my life, i always end up earsing and editing a lot of the things. I've tried many many times before to write a short story about my life but i never really had the chance to be able to finish, and look back at it. This is proberly because i regret a lot of things that i have done in the past. Even though im still young, i have so many regrets. Looking back at them, I actually think to myself " WOW, was that really me?"

Life's a battle, and to victorise this battle I need two things, Faith and Courage. Over the last year i've really noticed a change in myself, my friends, my family. Its just the nature and noture of things I guess. The point is no matter how hard i try to win the battle, something is always stopping me. Okay that was a really bad example. It's just that i try so hard to be what people want me to be, and to act like someone im not that im envolving to be something which i have never even thought about. I like indie/rock kind of music, I Love the colour black, i love the rocky sense of fashion, i love peircings and tatoo's, converses, skinny jeans, science. This is how i am, and im just beginning to show. I'm also a Christian, and looking back these years i haven't really acted like one. I've said and done things which i deeply regret. The point im trying to make is that everyone is different. Different taste in fashion/music/food/faith/religion etc etc. And we should be appreciated because of all our properties, we shouldnt try to be something that we are not just for the sake of pleasing people. You can't please everyone, the most important people in your life that you should be pleasing are the ones you love.

faith is what keeps us strong,

Monday, 19 July 2010

A moment of silliness can become a lifelong memory

One quick decision all it takes for something amazing happen. Tonight when i was sitting on the dinning room table I started to think about all the things that i have always wanted to do, but never had the chance. Weirdly enough one of those things was to draw faces on my chin and take picture of it. I am a chin-face. I sat there for a while, pondering the thought before speaking aloud: “Hey, you know what I want to do?.. Wait, how hard is it to get vivid off your face?” Thankfully, my friend accepts and appreciates my uniqueness, and this simple idea turned into a makeshift photo shoot that ended up being a night of fun and hysterical laughter.

yes i know im weird :)

my children will do it differently

We have all heard the stories from our parents " When i was your age we had to ... " " When i was your age.." you get my drift. But my all time favourite " When i was your age we wouldn't talk to our parents like that ".

Nowadays we have so many different uses of media and technology that weren't available when our parents were our age. Mobile Phones, Pay T.V, the internet etc. were not yet introduced to the society, and they had no idea what the future had in store for them. Little did they know that they were going to enter a world defined by media and technology. I spend a lot of time thinking about the future and what it holds for me. And it scares me, the whole growing up being someone, getting married having kids :') it sounds silly now, but as most people know that time flies by. And the most important thing that scares me is what will the world up to before i am a parent? I've always wanted to meet the perfect guy, get married have kids and be able to watch them grow up. Although its still really early to be thinking about these things sometimes my mind just tends to wonder off. I can only imagine the future when my family sit around the table teaching our children about the olden days.

My children might ask me what television was like, and why our cars went so slow. They might ask me why Marijuana was illegal and why people got put into prison for murder. They will ask me why the drinking ages was eighteen. I know the world is going to be advanced in many different and positive ways ( hopefully anyway) but there will also be some negative aspects. can imagine crime becoming more prominent in society, and young children disrespecting their parents quite freely and openly. Swear words will be incorporated into the English language and will no longer be “taboo”.

ll I can do now is sit and wait to see what the future holds… Actually that’s not true. I can change it. We all can.


the greatest things happen at night

I think i have discovered the reason why all these rushing thoughts and heighted emotions occur in bed at night.- its because it the only time during our day that we truly have to be ourselves. Our days are filled with pleasing others, ensuring our work is done to the correct standard, commuting and putting on a brave face to the world. We never truly have a moment to be ourselves untill we are in bed at night.

My best writing happens at two or three in the morning, when I write a post and then save it as a draft to edit in the morning. The truth is, these late night posts hardly ever need much editing as writing is so amazing if it is done at the right time. It is the only moment which feels mull over my thoughts and think about the days happenings, and in doing this i am often inspired.

Armed with a mug of tea and a hot water bottle, I will settle down on the laptop or computer in bed and either begin to write an essay about one of my subjects, or more likely a post for my blog. I have numerous drafts saved which i have started but never had the time to finish them.

Until then, don’t let your thoughts carry you into the wee hours too much. You need to be bright and well-rested to face the day ahead!

The essence of happiness begins within

I have often been told that i am the happiest person people have met., and I don't think I'm even close. why? because i don't even try.

My life is filled with magnificent things- the amazing lord, great friends/family, an amazing home and a wonderful closet full of clothes which i love. My cupboard is hardly ever short of my currant addicts of lemon and ginger green tea, and even though I'm nearly always loaded with homework i feel blessed to be receiving an education at all. A friend recently moved here from Thor hometown, as her parents wanted to give her and her brother a cleaner, safer environment to learn and grow in. I Mosley have almost lived in Cardiff my whole life, taking its safeness and beauty all for granted. #

As Ive gotten older, I've realized that all it takes is a simple yet charming smile to change someones day completely around. I am starting to live by the motto ' be nicer than necessary, because everyone you know is fighting some kind of Battle'. It might not make sense to many people but it seems to me that this is how people tend to live their lives. Were always fighting against something, we might not even be aware of it. complicated yes? Happiness is not something that comes easy, it takes time and effort. It's okay to be sad sometimes just remember that happiness comes from within it comes from you being happy with yourself and not what people think about you :)
peace xxx