Tuesday, 21 June 2011


lol. i dont even know why i am writing on here, its pointless and its not going to make any senses what so ever. these couple of days have been so stressful and hard and sad and worrying and angry and just a mixture of all my stupid emotions put together. i dont even know how i should feel. me and my mum got in a HUGE im not even exaggerating HUGE. MASSIVE. argument because of something that is happening with my passport. basically as i have wrote before i am leaving for america in 9 days, and two days ago my stupid mother decided that she was going to put heat protector in the same draw as my passport, it then was leaking and my whole passport is ruined. this means that i am now going to be paying 150 pounds for a new one, that i will get on thursday. she was trying to blame it on me, HOW? how is it my fault?! my passport has been there forever how can you be so fucking stupid and put heat protector in the same stupid draw. i am so angry and mad right now i dont know what to do with myself. today in the sociology exam i was trying to smile and be confident but it was so hard, i felt like tearing the paper apart and start crying my eyes out. half way through the exam i was tearing up and i think one of the boys next to me could see, it was so embarressing but i could not help it what so ever .habbiba was talking to me, and making sure i was Ok which was so sweet of her, walkign to school with her today i was ranting a little bit which helped. I just wish my mum would see that its not my fault, its her fault - i understand that she is my  mother but why are you going through my stuff, its an invasion of privacy, the only privacy I have. Secondly why on earth would you put HEAT PROTECTOR in my document drawer. and then you are blaiming me?! why cant she see it in my point of view instead of being so big headed and rude to me. she hasnt spoken or even looked at me ever since the argument, tomorrow im going shopping for shoes for prom and getting my eyebrows done, something that i should be doing with my mum. i didnt even want to go to prom anymore but i was kinda of convinced by her because she knows my sister would never go, she wanted at least one of her daughters to go to prom as a way to remember high school. the thing that hurt the MOST is when she told my sister that she doesnt even care if i look good for prom, it doesnt mean anything to her anymore. after she said that I could not stop crying. i sound and look pathetic but can you blaim me? this is my mother i am talking about, a person who has brought me up in the world and has raised me, why is she being so rude and horrible. I FEEL LIKE IM MOANING AND SOUNDING LIKE AN IDIOT, SO IM GOING TO SHUT UP AND GO HIDE IN MY ROOM FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. GR8

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