feeling neglected

so pardis how do you feel right now? 

-like shit 

why's that? 

-the whole day has been hectic, my mum made a vegetarian meal again + i feel neglected. 

 

yes, i like to talk to myself on blogger because thats how fucked up in the head  I am. Har har. I seriously don't want to talk about today ever again, one of the worst high school days ever. I just can't help feeling so neglected and unwanted. I sound like such a depressed little shit but I seriously feel like I can go die in a cave and no one would even know I'm gone. this is probably true. I don't want to go into details about this too much because I know the person who I'm referring to will get angry/upset but I can't help it. I bottle things inside me all of the time, even sometimes I can explode with all these emotions. Everybody only likes me when Im happy little pardis. It's just really hard to think that your somebody's rebound, the fact that they say they like you or whatever but then they have acted differently a couple of months before it with somebody else, you feel a bit, meeeh. I don't really know how to explain it, I just feel like im second best like oh they can't have her so why don't I just choose her. It really hurts, I feel really upset, and the fact that I have started to like them as well, its just a big slap in the face. I'm trying really realllly hard not to get so upset about this but I can't. I'm an emotional person always have been and always will be, its not my fault.  I guess im never going to be somebody's first choice always seconds, 

feels reallllly shit.