independently

It's been a really long day today and to be completely honest I don't really like to rant about how my life is so miserable on blogger. However I just feel like talking, to someone who will actually want to listen to me, and why not talk to the random people that every now and then take a look at my blog.

I've been let down quite a few times and I still pretend to be OK. However this year I feel like I have completely changed some may think for the worst however I feel like this change has been good for me. I'm now understanding how preferentially I am not really trusted by most people, I'm not going to say that this is a bad thing trusting someone is hard and could take a lot of time. However I have noticed that even if I went missing for about 3287462845837... years people still wouldn't notice. Although I try to be happy because its my last year in High School, sometimes I just feel like I want to dissapear and wishing no-one ever knew about me. I sound quite depressed which is normally the opposite of me ( I'm not depressed by the way) I try and be this happy person but sometimes I have my down days, and honestly I feel like people only like me when I'm the crazy happy person, they wouldn't truly care if I wasn't feeling OK.

However I have decided that from now on, I'm going to try this independent thing, that way I know I would have no one to go to when I'm sad or upset, that may seem like a bad thing, but right now I feel like this is the right thing to do. I don't usually swear but I've realised that I don't really give a fuck if people don't like me, I am who I am and I'm never going to change just to please someone.

Well that was one hell of a rant, I should probably go do some media coursework since I'm quiet behind

blergh!