independently

It's been a really long day today and to be completely honest I don't really like to rant about how my life is so miserable on blogger. However I just feel like talking, to someone who will actually want to listen to me, and why not talk to the random people that every now and then take a look at my blog.

I've been let down quite a few times and I still pretend to be OK. However this year I feel like I have completely changed some may think for the worst however I feel like this change has been good for me. I'm now understanding how preferentially I am not really trusted by most people, I'm not going to say that this is a bad thing trusting someone is hard and could take a lot of time. However I have noticed that even if I went missing for about 3287462845837... years people still wouldn't notice. Although I try to be happy because its my last year in High School, sometimes I just feel like I want to dissapear and wishing no-one ever knew about me. I sound quite depressed which is normally the opposite of me ( I'm not depressed by the way) I try and be this happy person but sometimes I have my down days, and honestly I feel like people only like me when I'm the crazy happy person, they wouldn't truly care if I wasn't feeling OK.

However I have decided that from now on, I'm going to try this independent thing, that way I know I would have no one to go to when I'm sad or upset, that may seem like a bad thing, but right now I feel like this is the right thing to do. I don't usually swear but I've realised that I don't really give a fuck if people don't like me, I am who I am and I'm never going to change just to please someone.

Well that was one hell of a rant, I should probably go do some media coursework since I'm quiet behind

blergh!

a persons poem;

I would describe myself as being very similar to a poem.

Upon first reading, a poem probably seems pretty standard. A few rhymes here and there, some alliteration, and maybe some sibilance thrown in if you’re getting a bit sophisticated. Just like me. Upon first glance I seem to be pretty average and normal, albeit being shorter than other 15/16 year old girls.

When you read the poem again, you get taken a bit deeper. New ideas, meanings and interpretations pop into your head about the piece. Just like me. When you come up and meet me, you experience my personality and the kind of person I am. Warm, friendly, kind and pretty loud to be honest.

When you separate the poem into stanzas, even more meaning is developed and even more messages are revealed within the poem. Just like me. The second time we meet, you might notice a new aspect of my personality that you didn’t see before. You may learn more and more about me and what I like to do, the way I think and maybe even about my family.

It could take a few times meeting me to realise that this is my true personality. Just like reading a poem.. sometimes you can read it a thousand times before realising its true meaning.

Just like a poem, I am interesting to begin with, difficult and confusing, but once you take the time to understand me, everything will become clear.

11/15/2010

So I have decided that I want to blog daily (if I have the time) about my adventurous lifestyle. It's not really that interesting but I had to say something you keep you guys reading.
Today was something that I would never forget. Little memories that I would probably treasure for the rest of my life. To begin with it was my friend Habbiba's birthday today ( Happy birthday again) and to make it special we all went to McDonald. As we were enjoying our lunch we were also planning our 'prank' to play. We decided that we were going to fake a car with our friends and go through the drive through. We did try this out but unfortunately it did not go as we planned, it was still however a lot of fun.
I might have not mentioned this in the above paragraph however we are in school, so we had to make sure we were back in school on time. On our way back to school, me, ella, habbiba and louise decided that we were going to sing random Hannah Montana songs on our way back to school. As we proceeded through our journey we were accompanied by random bulging eyes staring at us wondering why on earth we were singing so loud. It was really nice to know that we didn't have to worry about anything at the moment, as we were involved everything was alright. This just shows how immature I am, singing loudly at the age of 15/16. Hopefully I won't be acting like this in twenty years time. HOPEFULLY.
To continue the day off, me and my friend Habbiba ( it was her birthday) decided that we were going to give in our college application forms at St Davids. On the way there we had to make a few stops such as tesco, the post office, hallifax. In all these places we couldn't help but laugh at the situation we found ourselves at. So after walking all that way up to the college, we realised that our parents had not signed for the application, which meant that we had wasted all this time for nothing.
Although it was really aggravating we couldn't help but laugh at the situation.
Over all today has been a pretty good day, with memories that I will always remember.
Oh and I promise to write a proper blog with a subject and meaning and stuff by the end of this week. Just been kind of busy with certain issues.
Much love.

The great wall of pardis's bedroom....

Okayy, So I've decided that I want to brighten up my wall with all the the random stuff that I find interesting everday. One of those things are Cardiff Bus Tickets.
Some people might find this weird but I have decided that by the end of my high school year I want to have filled up all my wall with Cardiff Bus Tickets. Hopefully when I grow older and move out to the different places that I want to go, I will always remember being a teenager and filling up my wall with Cardiff Bus Tickets.

I've also started putting up random pictures, magazine covers, the poppie that I wore this year for the rememberance of the soldiers that have fought/are fighting. I have just decided that I am going to put up everything that I have had memories with, to remind of the good old days.
If that doesn't make me sound old, I have no idea what will.
I will for sure put up some pictures to show you all my wall.

I have to go now, but I hope everyone has a goood week at school/work.

much love

realization of the true meaning of life

So I've only just realised how we try and base our everyday lives to make other people happy, although we don't realise it, it still happens. We spend our whole day trying to make other people happy while we might not be in the right state of mind ourselves.

For me, I'm only myself when I'm around my close friends or family, while if I were to talk to a person for the first time, I would have a slight sensation to make them like me. That would consist me laughing at their jokes or trying not to be rude in the way I speak. These are all attribues that lead us into being someone were not.

In my slight weird opinion, we are not being truly ourselves. What is life worth living for if your trying so hard to be someone your not. Surly that can't be right.

The true meaning of life, is being yourself gaining experiance which one can only dream of....

If that wasn't cheesy I don't know what is
much love

long time...

So I feel like I haven't updated my blogger for a long time, not with the hectic math exams and coursework that I've been busy with. However today I decided that I want to commit into writing a blog every week. Although I only have 6 followers, and if you are reading this you will think, well why is she writing every week, its not like anyone's gonna read it. STILL! I feel like I want to do this, just to get away from all the crazy stuff in my life.

I don't really know what to write about, you see normally I just write about certain matters/issues but today I have nothing. So I guess that I will just write a little 'diary'.
This week has been full of memories that I will probably remember for the rest of my life. At first I managed to pull through my two of my math exams, THANK GOD. And this weekend I got to spend time with the people that I love. We all went out for my friends birthday, which was a great way to spend the weekend after the hectic math exams that I am yet babbling on about. However it really was amazing :D.

This is proberly one of the best memories of my time at Cathays High School ever. Our most kind maths teacher ' Ms Morgan' brought us all donoughts and cakes to celebrate the end of our maths exams. It was amazing, we did nothing but eat and play random games.

This is proberly one of the moments in my life which I hope, I will never forget.
Much love.