FMYLIFE.

lol. i dont even know why i am writing on here, its pointless and its not going to make any senses what so ever. these couple of days have been so stressful and hard and sad and worrying and angry and just a mixture of all my stupid emotions put together. i dont even know how i should feel. me and my mum got in a HUGE im not even exaggerating HUGE. MASSIVE. argument because of something that is happening with my passport. basically as i have wrote before i am leaving for america in 9 days, and two days ago my stupid mother decided that she was going to put heat protector in the same draw as my passport, it then was leaking and my whole passport is ruined. this means that i am now going to be paying 150 pounds for a new one, that i will get on thursday. she was trying to blame it on me, HOW? how is it my fault?! my passport has been there forever how can you be so fucking stupid and put heat protector in the same stupid draw. i am so angry and mad right now i dont know what to do with myself. today in the sociology exam i was trying to smile and be confident but it was so hard, i felt like tearing the paper apart and start crying my eyes out. half way through the exam i was tearing up and i think one of the boys next to me could see, it was so embarressing but i could not help it what so ever .habbiba was talking to me, and making sure i was Ok which was so sweet of her, walkign to school with her today i was ranting a little bit which helped. I just wish my mum would see that its not my fault, its her fault - i understand that she is my  mother but why are you going through my stuff, its an invasion of privacy, the only privacy I have. Secondly why on earth would you put HEAT PROTECTOR in my document drawer. and then you are blaiming me?! why cant she see it in my point of view instead of being so big headed and rude to me. she hasnt spoken or even looked at me ever since the argument, tomorrow im going shopping for shoes for prom and getting my eyebrows done, something that i should be doing with my mum. i didnt even want to go to prom anymore but i was kinda of convinced by her because she knows my sister would never go, she wanted at least one of her daughters to go to prom as a way to remember high school. the thing that hurt the MOST is when she told my sister that she doesnt even care if i look good for prom, it doesnt mean anything to her anymore. after she said that I could not stop crying. i sound and look pathetic but can you blaim me? this is my mother i am talking about, a person who has brought me up in the world and has raised me, why is she being so rude and horrible. I FEEL LIKE IM MOANING AND SOUNDING LIKE AN IDIOT, SO IM GOING TO SHUT UP AND GO HIDE IN MY ROOM FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. GR8

summer

The more i think about the summer, the more excited I get. cannot wait to get these stupid exams over and done with, im going america, im spending the summer with my friends, and i am going thailand. what more could a person want? im really in the mood to be talking right now, just because it gives me a reason not to revise for sociology tomorrow. 
 

dont try and be something your not.

it pisses me off so much when people act like something they're not. show your own personality. dont copy others. 
- it just makes a person ugly.

this is has just become a pointless hobby

to be honest I actually have no idea why I bother writing on here. at first it was like a place for me, my thoughts and shit. but now i just cant be bothered, i dont know whether its because of exams or the fact that I am spending so much time having fun with my friends, but blogger has become dull and boring for me. I want to write about something which is really interesting not just writing about my personal life and what I do on a daily basis. Because i really dont like that, i mean why would someone come on my blog and want to read about my life and what I do everyday, im sure they would much rather prefer if I wrote about something that has a meaning, a kind of parable i guess. meeh i dont know, im so tired and stressed, and confused. my school yet again have decided to fuck up my exam times, i dont know what time my exams start at all, and the teachers are no help at all, all they seem to do is make me more and more confused. I CANNOT WAIT to get out of that shit hole, goodbye everything and everyone. Everyday when i walk into school for my exams, the feeling at looking at Cathays just makes me bored. its the most dull and boring place ever, the people (my friends) are the only exciting thing about it. to be honest it looks more like a prison cell. I got my camera back which feels amazing, they have cleaned it properly and gave me a new lense, so i was a very happy bunny. I have to go back to revising I.C.T and Sociology and Media. aaaaaaaaaagh some one kill me now?
 

so stressed

I have two maths exams, a history, welsh and R.E and science this week and i am not ready at all! espically for maths and science, im freaking out because i know im going to to bad and be so upset on results day, ive revised and revised but some of the things on there are so hard. and i am going camping in a few hours which means i have to spend my whole time revising and not enjoying myself, which is going to be so hard.
AHHH WHAT AM I GOING TO D:!

dating but nothing serious

im not usually the type of person to go on dates and not be in a relationship with someone, i dont know why thats just how it has always been. but two days ago i went out with this guy that i met at a party, he was so so so lovely and  sweet, not to mention generous. we went out, he paid - something a guy must must must do on the first date. it was so nice, he got along very very well it was just like another guy friend. its really gutting because nothing can ever really happen between us since hes moving to mexico because his dad is an ambassedor. meeeh. it was like one the things you would see in a movie, and its so sad when it actually happens to you. im off camping with my friend yasmin and our familys, were going to the breacons for a couple of days which should be really nice, although i have to spend my time revising for maths and history, :( meeeeeeeeeeh