i wish

after spending the whole day watching the only way is essex and made in chelsea, i would love it if i lived like them. I know most of the things they do and say is for the tv but it looks like so much fucking fun. I WANT TO DO THAT!  I spent the whole day revising which is was so so good, and then went for some body treatement which i am not going to mention. my parents had a little to much wine with their dinner which now means that my dad is drunk singing in the kitchen to the smiths. ahh i love morrissey but my dad singing along with him makes me want to commit suicide. tomorrow i am going to spend the whole day at the library and have drinks with ella at TGI. I remember we went there when were on work experiance and to go back would be so amazing, I am going to persuade the others to come along as well. just the thought of being able to drive and being able to drink in the pub legally excites me, and the fact that I go to the supermarket and come home and drink wine and it would be totally legal. Today after doing about 2 hours of revision I went downstairs got my self a glass of Shiraz and sat in the garden, all by my self. no one was home, so I was just talking to myself looking like a weirdo, it as was so nice to have a good catch up with myself. this sounds selfish but i like to pay a lot of attention to myself, just because I don't want to let things bother me and if they do bother me then i have like a depressive month, which takes the fucking piss, because everything seems to annoy me and all i want to do is stay home and eat. I have the feeling that I am going to be obese one day, seriously, not even joking right now. I eat so so much, i am going to start going to the gym and carrying on swimming a lot, i just wish someone would come with me - it would make the whole thing so much more fun and exciting. I am blabbing on way to much,
goodbye.

made in chelsea

my favourite show at the moment 

addicted to the 50's

as most of you would have probably noticed by now i decided to change the background of my blog - i changed it from little firework thingy's to poka a dots. i dont know why i am so obsessed with the 50's right now, their fashion, their youth , their style everything was so much different and so much better. I wish I could live in the 50's, I would fit right in. the whole era just looks so cute and fun, unlike living right now. ive looked around for some 50's inspired bikinis and swimsuits just because when I go to America in 31 days I want something i feel comfertable and sexy in, something that shows my personality. I looked around for some with cup cakes on it and some with poka dots but nothing. the bad thing is that I am a DD cup but i have the smallest weist possible, 32cm :(! uuuugh its such a pain looking for bra's because their either too big or too small.
okay why am i talking about this? this is what revising biology has led me to! who cares about osmosis or whatever, i just want my grades and leave, goodbye. but then the thought of a levels and uni frightens me so much but in a a good way, im excited to learn more and become more independant I guess. me and ella are probably going to birmingham on friday for FOREVER21. WOOP WOOP!
i should probably get myself some more coffee because i am falling asleep even  by looking at these books. wish me luck.

ollllla

like my spanish title? it means hello, but im pretty sure you guys already know that. 

AAAAAAH GAWD it feels good to be typing again and posting again, its like sex. well not its nothing like that but ya get my drift. I have been so busy with exams, they have actually taken over my life, i miss my freedom and being able to have lazy days and not have to think about anything - but ever since they had to create exams i have had to say goodbye to all of that. so much has happened i dont even know where to begin to write, first of all i would like to say that I MISS YOU! yes blogger, I MISSED IT EVER SO MUCH! I was resisting to go on it this whole time but tonight I finally gave in, and let me tell you it - it feels GR8. text writing - feeling gangster.
i am using my stupid computer because my laptop is broken, technology hates me right now. this week i have had to say goodbye to by beloved Camera, untill it gets fixed, my laptop has fucked up, and my phone decided to bail on me. what else could go fucking wrong? sorry for the language, i guess i swear a lot but i cant help it. hopefully when i get my grades for gcse then my parent will buy me a MAC. no not the makeup silly's the laptop of course.
its getting really late and i want to wake up early tomorrow morning which means i have to say goodbye to blogger and hello to my bed and ipod. mm looks so beautiful. 

im off to sleep, missed you guys a lot, but dont worry i am back 

GOODNIGHT HOES AND BITCHES

in love with this right at the moment

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh<3

revising in my pj's. cheeky

what my blog is about

my blog is a mixture of everything, but mainly it is a place for me, for my thoughts, for my feelings and for the things that happen to me everyday. I write about something that I want to, my blog is a way of expressing myself. I don't really do 'beauty' blogs just because its my not really my thing, I don't think you can show people how to be beautiful because I like to think we are all beautiful in our own way. Of course I am not saying that beauty blogs are bad, but its just not my thing I guess. 

   I'm still in my PJ's at its 11. I cannot be bothered to get up, its my parents anniversary tomorrow and I do not have a clue what to get them. I had to help my dad pick something out for my mum because he's not very good at shopping. i need to go some R.E revision because my exam is tomorrow. wish me luccck

yes.

about to burst with happiness

Right now I am the happiest person in the whole wide world. seriously, no one can reach the level of my happiness, its brilliant! Today I want to town with my mum, looking for stuff to wear for presentation evening. After visiting so many stores I finally found something and I am really excited to wear it. I also bought a lot of jewellery  and shoes, and two tops from republic and a bikini from Hollister. Oh and  I went to paper chase and bought a massive piece of black card for my form tutor, I plan on printing pictures of the whole class and sticking it on, like a massive collage, and then I am going to get my form class to sign the back. I know it sounds cheesy and all but I really love Mrs Murray, she has been my school mother<3! whenever me and ella are upset we just go to her and she talks with us, I feel like ella is my sister and Mrs murray is my mother. it's going to be so weird going to college not being in all my lessons with Ella. I'm going to miss her so so so so much, even though we're going to be seeing each other all of the time, but still. From the very first day that I came to cathays, me and her have been in all the same lessons, well except P.E! I have grown up with that girl, it feels like a massive chunk of me is all my memories with that girl. okay this is getting even more cheasier by the minute. ahh im so just excited because all of my brilliant friends have got in, every single one of them! SO EXCITED! FOR COLLAGE,FOR AMERICA,FOR SUMMER,FOR CLOTHES!!!!

:(

I miss ed. 

I miss ED

I miss ED

I MISS ED

I MISS ED

I MISS ED

I MISS ED

I MISS ED

I MISS ED

I MISS ED!

feelings

wow, okay so i just noticed that I have over 2.000 views which is amazing, thank you guys, it means that someone out there is reading my stupid blog. being in the middle of GCSE's I feel like I never have any time for myself or others, I'm either in an exam, or in the library. I hate to admit this but i really do miss school, the old times though when everyone attempted to get along with each other for the sake of others. OK I'm getting off the track here, but like i was saying, I never have any pardo time. you may ask, what is pardo time? WELL pardo time is when I spend the whole day or a very long time just looking at funny stuff and laughing, whether it being pictures, or videos or just remembering things, I spend the whole day making myself feel better. and right now i feel like I haven't done that in such a long time! and my whole feelings just get muddled up, everybody thinks that I am the sort of person that doesn't need cheering up, that I'm just a happy bunny all the time. and it is true because I am always am a happy bunny but i also need some time to myself. better get back to revision. I promise the day that I finish my GCSE'S i will come on blogger and write the biggest post anyone has ever scene, that is a promise<3

i HAVE GOT INTO ST DAVIDS

GOODBYE CATHAYS.HELLO ST DAVIDS!

10 things I hate about guys

1.If he doesn't pay on the first day 

2.He lies 

3.He cheats 

4.He's clingy 

5.He tells me he loves me, when I know he doesn't.

6.If he doesn't pay attention to the little things that matter

7.Forgetting important dates 

8.Not willing to make an effort with my friends. 

9.Not willing to make an effort with his looks and manners. 

10.Acting differently around his friends. 

maturing into a young adult

listening to Hannah Montana just shows how much I have matured since I was 13.  I used to love this, everyday I would rush home to watch her show. well to be honest I watched all her shows up untill this year when they finished. I'm not going to lie I LOVE DISNEY CHANNEL! I grew up watching their shows, whether it being Thats So Raven, Lizzie Mcguire, Hannah Montana, Sonny with a chance, Wizards of Waverly Place, the suite life of zac and cody. the whole lot. its weird because these shows helped with so many things, like making friends, guys, secrets so much more. they are a massive part of who I am right now. I owe it to all these guys. they have matured me, in way I cannot begin to explain. 

thank you

california king bed

this song is so awhhhh for me. its weird because at one point in my past relationship I felt like this, so apart from him, we would hardly ever speak. of course I don't own a california king bed but as soon as I heard this song, I started to tear up. awh <3 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knVXz4JhDtk

i am not depressed

this is seriously starting to piss me off, how many times people, i am not depressed! I AM NOT DEPRESSSED! just because i am happy in school and sad at home does not make me depressed, i just hide my emotions. there have been a couple of posts from this year which make me look really emotional and stuff, but depressed? c'mon seriously. and the worst thing is people think I put it on, if i wanted to put it on i would make it obvious that I am upset, not hide it away from everyone. argh! i keep getting these anon messages saying i need to get help! HELP FOR WHAT?! I AM NOT DEPRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSED!

AMERICA!

I'm so so so excited! its getting more closer to going America with two of my best friends. Me and my friend ella we're going to go to forever21 and then wagmama, I'm so excited because if i chose something that I like but it doesn't suit me then she is there to help me chose another one. and the main part of going on holiday is spending time shopping with your friend, i'm really really excited to eat wagmama though, if thats how you spell it, I'm not sure, its supposed to be amazing food. BUZZZZZZING! we've planned out everything, we have to meet hot life guards in america and make them fall in love with us har haaaaar! if only it were really like that, sorry if i am babbling on about my social life, i know it bores me when I read someones blog and all they talk about is how their so this and that, to be its just like make it private, no one wants to read these things. I wish louise could come to forever21 she would enjoy it so so so much! and we can take her to wagmama and everything, it doesn't feel right without her, she's going to miss out on amazing fun, but i have a plan. I am going to capture her, in my bagpack and take her to birmingham with me, shh its top secret. okay so now i know what you guys are thinking, wow is this girl high? and yes I am, I am high of excitement and joy, something other than sadness and shit because I have seriously too much of that inside me. hehe i bought new pj's from marks and spencers and it is so softtt! I shall take a picture and show you guys.
wish me luck for my exam tomorrrrrow <3

hurry up St Davids

hopefully our acceptant letter will soon be in the post for St Davids hopefully HOPEFULLY I would have got in so I don't need to stay at my dread High School six form. I don't understand why someone would actually would want to stay there as their first choice, its horrible! not to mention the idiotic teachers there. argh just thinking about staying there pisses me off so bad! I need to get into St Davids, I HAVE TO! right now I am watching beastly which to be honest is a really bad movie,I would have thought it would have been a bit more interesting but it seriously isn't. my hollister stuff is taking such a long time to arrive, it really should be here tomorrow, and my urban decay eye shadow set also. i have so many things to wait for :B! 
  i need to pee but I cannot be bothered.

my best fwend looks like selena gomez

seriously. am i the only person that see's this?! they look so so so alike!

blogger mess

Man it feels weird to be writing a post that doesn't really mean anything to me, but I thought I would let you guys know something. recently there has been some chaos about posts that when people find out out they are upset about, this is about me by the way. just in saying in general, of course I am not going to name anyone or any blog because I don't really do that. 
  the thing that I like about my blog is that I don't mention people on here, I won't say anything that might offend people. which is why my blog has never been a problem for myself or others that are reading it. I just think that by naming people I come across as a bitch - and I don't really want that. HOWEVER if you have ever read my blog and think that I have published something that has hurt your feelings, firstly I would like to say that I am sorry because I wasn't aware of it and I am sure I wouldn't want someone to do that with me and secondly I would like you to tell me because I can then say sorry in person but to actually give you to sort it out, meaning that i will delete the post. 


 i am sorry for not posting a lot, i have been caught up with a lot of revision. post soon i promise xxx

I miss two hours of drama today because I really wasn't in the mood for reading and anaylising

I don't want people's sympathy,I want their support

I don't want people's sympathy,I want their support

I'm not what you think I am

please please please take the time to get to know and understand me as a person before you make such a clear judgement of me. I am not angry at anyone or anything, I just wish that people would take time and listen to what I have to say sometimes, instead of listening to him and making a judgement based on the lies, and horrible stuff he has said about me. 
I AM NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON! I DO NOT HATE ANYONE OR ANYTHING! I AM NOT A SLUT! I AM NOT A HATER! urrrrgh! I had to come online for once and find this all written about me, why?! I understand that they are his friends but listen to what I have to say before you make your mind up. this makes me want to cry. 


is it just me or do I seriously sound depressed? I wish someone would actually pay attention to what I have to say. I just read that one of the people that I was really really close to thinks I hate her. I don't hate her one bit, not one bit.  I just wish people would understand that I do not hate them, not one bit. i'm falling a p a r t 

havent posted in such a long time

I havent had time for blogger for such a long time. this weekend has been hectic, yasmins house party last night was amaaazing! met so many people that go to her college, it was so nice meeting them, really nice people not to mention hilarious! it just makes leaving cathays so much easier 

posing with my krispy kreme hat like any girl would

I LOVE SAYDA HASSAN! 

writing challenge part 5 *write about your feelings towards someone'

I'm not going to write about my feelings 'relationship wise' for someone, simply because they told me that they don't want it published, which is fine. 

so instead im going to write about my feelings towards someone who apprantly hates the living guts out of me. 

' I don't actually know how to feel towards you, you have actually made me so upset for such a long time that I'm probably going to always remember this. the rumours you made up, the hurtful things that you were telling me, everything. you have turned me into this little miserable bunny - not a very nice feeling. to be honest I don't know what I have done to you, at all! You don't know me as a person, and for all that I know I have never ever done anything to upset you, at all. so why do this all to me? why hate me for no apprant reason? I'm sick and tired of people like you making me feel bad about myself, I feel like shit literally all of the time, worthless shit. I don't hate you, not one bit! I could never hate you, simply because I don't know you that well. but the things that you have said about me were just vile. at one point my parents actually thought it was the truth. so thank you for that. I have kept this whole thing a secret, I have told no one anything about anyone, especially you. but there you are aiming status at me, very nice. people are going to think that I am hypocrite because I am writing this and aiming at you, but at these type of situations I don't care about what people think of me. I try and try and try and try to put this all in the past, but whenever I'm in lesson I tend to wonder what on earth have I done to treat this? its okay though, because I'm not a person to hold a grudge, its fine. I don't believe in Karma or whatever, but I hope that you will never have to face the hurt that I did and still do, im not that cruel. 

bye. 

i'm fine

yup its fine. she's better than me. she's prettier than me. she's not weird like me. she's older than me. she's more interesting than me, forget that you once 
liked me. be with her. its cool. im cool. its all good. 

writing challenge part 4 *write a letter to anyone*

I am going to be writing a letter to Ed Westwick. yes the man of my dreams 

Dear Ed, 

   this is kind of stupid because your never ever ever going to see this but I'm just going to write one anyway just so you know that I loved you. first of all I cannot believe that you went out with Jessica. WHY ED WHY?! you know how much I dislike her. She's let fame and fourtune get to her head not to mention the fact that she was ractist, why would you ever go out with someone like that? i'm writing, in bedroom, in Wales listening to the Clash. I wish you would come to tour the UK with your band, I would run to your gigs when you Come to Cardiff. lmfao well this is a bit weird. 

I really need your help

Okay so as a part of my Media work me and my friends have to create a fan like page on facebook and get as many likes as we possibly can! I know that most of you have facebook so if you could like the page and send it to your friends I WOULD APPRECIATE IT SO SO SO SO MUCH! i know that not a lot of people read my blog but the ones that do read it and even comment and say how much they enjoy reading my blog, it makes my whole world so much nicer and happier! not to mention that when I write something and you guys think I'm upset some of you email me, its the nicest thing ever! I am so grateful for the small bunch of people that read my blog! so I will post the link of the webpage below, be sure to like and send it to your friends ;D! 
love every single of you xxxxxxxxx
(actually I will post it later because I don't think it has been made yet) 

man of my dreams

writing challenge part 4 *rant about anything*

haha well that should be easy since I seem to rant and moan to myself all the time, in my head obviously, I tend to keep things like this to myself just because I don't want others to think of me as a moody person. rant rant rant thinking about it I don't know what I should talk about, there are so many possibilties. 

ah! I've got one. I'm not going name anyone because its kind of a private thing. so here it goes 

- arfgharkjhfs! i hate it when someone tells you something and then do something stupid just to show how much of an idiot they are, and just when I thought he had changed. Of course he hasn't. dont be so stupid pardis, your so gullible seriously. It's not my fault - I am easily persuaded by anyone or anything, just a minute ago I opened a whole box of chocolates that I was meant to give to my dad as a thank you gift for listening to my problems. but my tempatation caused me to eat it ;) so yes. as I was saying, he told me that he still loved me and how I was the only girl on his mind. hmm well that's odd because 3 days after it your in a relationship with someone else. seriously!!! I don't even care because I don't have any feelings for you anymore, we were done 2 years ago, done and dusted. I only started speaking to you because I thought you had actually changed and wanted to give this 'friend' thing a chance, but you've ruined it all. well not all, I'm not going to not speak to you, but there is no way in helllll the next time you tell me you have feelings for me am I going to be nice about it, I'm going to be the biggest bitch ever. actually no I'm not, I couldn't imagine myself making someone feel so horrible. I'm not bothered by the fact that your in a relationship, I'm bothered by the fact that for some reason I believed you. the person that I have feelings for is 100000000000000000000000 times better than you, he's honest, and nice, funny not to mention his love for The Smiths. should I rant a little more about the fact that I want you hit you in the face when I see you, but I can't since I'm the weakest person ever! 

sorry for not being perfect

urgh. what is it with me and feeling crap these days? its non stop feeling like shit all the time, why pardis? WHY?! - hmm well let me start. Right now I feel like A LOT of people hate me, not just dislike me but purely hate me. I mean I would understand if I had done something wrong to them but most of them just hate   me based on the things that have been said about me. people listen to them, non of them are true, they're all stupid little rumours that are ruining my last year in high school. I had three hours of drama and I felt so lonely, everyone has their group of friends and I'm just there. I feel like I'm interrupting them if I speak so I tend to just keep to myself and go with the flow, they are all lovely people though which is nice ^.^ 

I feel like I have this 'portrait' of people expectings girls like me to look perfect and when they do see me its like - ew. well yes I agree I'm not that most good looking person in the whole of the school but its just mean when they say it to  your face, i feel so ugly and my whole confidence is put down. I always try and say to myself that I'm not going to let people's comments bring me down but wahay I still manage to feel like crap. I really want to talk to someone but I don't know who. maybe after I have finished some revision I will have a quick look at facebook to see what's occurin'. 

I missss arnisssssa :(!

pictures that I steal from Mrs google.com

I would love to take a picture like this

summer so sooooon

the O.C - favourite ever TV SHOW 

nwaah

writing challenge part 3 - *write a review about anything*

this is so hard because there are so many good things to talk about, from my favourite music bands, to tv programmes etc. but at the moment my obsession is with Gossip Girl. ahh I am in love with that show, ever since season 1 I have loved Ed westwick ( chuck). His British charms and facial hair makes him so attractive, not to mention his beautiful voice. I sound like such a pervert but anyone that watches gossip girl will know what I am talking about. Right now the heat is between blair and serena. I really don't like serena since she always thinks that the whole world revolves around her, I don't like Blake Lively but the character she plays just gets on my last nerves. Dan and Bair need to be together. THEY NEED TO! I have waited such a long time for this and then Blair goes off with the prince, although I know that she will return to chuck because I mean c'mon they were meant for each other. I still really want her to get with Dan, even for a little bit. Gossip girl is just brilliant, the whole idea behind it is so addictive, I watch the promo's about 10 times because I can't wait for the next episode to come online. so addictive, I miss both revision and coursework catching up with this show. The drama, the guys, their clothes, the parties is what a girl like me can only dream off! the clothes are just dreamy, their designers, they guys! the GUYS! some of the hottest people I have ever met in my whole entire life! It's okay Pardis control yourself girl, control yourselff!

another apology

I feel so guilty. I just want to say to whoever who is reading this I want to say that I am sorry, if I have ever mistreated you, lied to you, said something mean about you, anything that I have done physically or verbally to make you feel upset. I just want you to know how deeply sorry I am. 
this is kind of weird to write about, but I was talking to my mum and she made me realise so many things. How I have been so cruel and harsh to people,  I don't know why I do it sometimes maybe because for some reason its the only way I can realise my anger or upsetness? I've kind of been really, not deppressed but just really really down recently, I try not to show it and I think I do a pretty good job but I think that if i'm never going to be upset, or I am never going to talk about it then that anger and sadness is just going to follow and haunt me for a very long time. 
I don't have suicide thoughts or anything serious, but im upset that I start making people feel bad and thats worse than commiting suicide or anything like that. 
sorry for the depressive post guys 

writing challenge part 2 *write a fanficition*

is it only me that is not familiar with this word? I don't know whether it means write a fiction piece or if its just another genre of writing. So I don't think that I'm going to write about it at all, since I really don't want to embaress myself  :]