GLEE is on in a bit. im so god damn excited right now, although i have no idea why. sometimes i just have those moments were i feel totally surreal and crazy, I LOVE IT. i was just talking to rowan about how he shouldn't make fun of any religion and  I told him he was wrong, I did myself proud. I filled in my apple application form for a job, im so excited i really do hope i get in. i love apple, i've bought most of their ipod's and I  use safari and im planning to buy a macbook, everyone loves apple even though they're so expensive they are so beutiful. har har i now have 8 followers, im going to check my stats maybe more people have read my blog. i have triple drama tomorrow morning and then double history. gutttted.

i have to go now, get ready for bed + glee
night xxxxxxxx

fans?

Today in ICT me, louise and ella were checking our blog's and i found out all the different places in which people were actually reading my blog. literally reading it. it was so exciting to actually think people instead of myself read this hehehehehe. THANK YOU. I actually mean it, all you beautiful 7 followers. and one of you is private im really curious to know who it is. love you peeeeeeeeepz 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I'm in love with willow smith's new song. maaayn she got a foine daddy 

HELP IS THE NEW GIRLBAND IN TOWN! with habbiba (H) ella (E) louise (L) and me pardis(P)! we are now currantly recording a new cd so please request for our new EP. contact me 07944476220 DON'T FORGET!

I WANT TO ATTACK THE MEOW!

CATHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYS

har har har i feel so cheecky, im in mrs evans ict lesson and im on blogger, i feel like such a rebel. we just finished our english oral, SO FUNNY! espically salman, he was the takeaway owner. nobody found it as funny as i did. fucking hilarious. grr jessica is flirting again, as usual. this girl irratates me so much, first she flirts with liam like all the time. i want to hit her so much and now she is flirting with fiesal who recently broke up with charlie. i really dont understand how jess is a person, it feels like she has no feelings for other people around her. i want someone to hurt her the way she hurts other people. i actually feel sorry for danial crofts that he went out with such a nasty ugly little c.a.t! he seems like a really nice person why is he so stupid as to go out with someone like jess. maayn im talking alot. anyway i want to tell her about it, like why she flirts with so many times and why she enjoyes hurting people, dont worry im going to get her back like i got her out today in baseball. well basically in double games today she got me out and loads of other people so when it was her turn to run i dabbed her with my ball like crazy, SHE CANT GET AWAY WITH MURDER. I wish a dog just comes right now in this ict room and eats her.

HAR HAR HAR

today has been the most tiering day eveer, after Britain's got talent yesturday everything just seemed so un-real, it felt weird and unsual to be in school. it really irratates when I know someone is talking behind my back and how they try and keep it a secret, its so obvious I can tell when someone talks about me. I don't really care anymore, I don't want to try with people that are just going to throw it back in my face. I'm so glad to leave cathays and hopefully HOPEFULLY get into St Davids at which i can get away from all this bitchy atmosphere and try and be independant. I didn't get to go home last night so I'm so knackered, I just woke up from my bed still in my school uniform i feel so icky.

please please st davids please accept me :B

mooooooooooooooooody cow

today has been the longest day of my whole entire life, it dragged on and on. i don't know how to explain how i feel right now, it's odd i don't know whether i should feel bad for myself or bad for others. today in sociology one of my close friends was talking about her relationship and how it wasn't going so well, i can honestly say i felt heartbroken for her. She's so lovely and sweet preferably one of the nicest people i have met in my whole entire life, and to see her upset because of her relationship made me really sad. i wasn't really close to her before but over the last year especially during the school play we became really close and she is a person that i truly care about and to see her upset kind of made me upset. through this whole day i've constantly been reminded about relationships and it has pissed me offfffffffffff. people say that its great to be single and not care but being single is like being lonely, when your in a relationship you feel like you can talk to someone about your feelings and that they actually care about you. im actually thinking that im not meant to be in a relationship at all, no matter how hard i try maybe its not finding the right guy maybe its just that im not suitable for any guy.

one of the worst days eveeeeeeeeeeeeeeer.

SPICE ROUTE TODAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

20th January

today i actually turned 16, which is no different to being 15 but still im getting older. i feel like i should mature more but i really don't want. it was such a fun day. ella and louise had planned a surprise birthday 'outing' for me with most of the people in our year, IT WAS SO MUCH FUN! and they brought me cake as well. TEHE. it feels so good to have fwends like these ladies. i should really start planning things for their birthday's as well, i've got some ideas at the back of my head :B.

exams exams exams

i'm quite please with my mock results so far, i had 35 out of 50 in history and 32 out of 40 for drama. quite glad I revised for them now.

the reality of my science exams has just hit me, should do some serious revision from now till next week.

my dad's getting my Specials ticket tomorrow, seriously excited. im going to buy mine now and then persude one of my friends to come along, if they actually listened to me and hear some of their songs they would like them.

no makeup, out from shower, natural hair.

up close and personal

love yourself, love others

I have been taken by superise by the amount of people who are unwilling to help each other out or just the simple matter of being nice to people.

I myself like to try and be the best person that I can to most of the people I will meet, this is because they are going to be the ones to make our society in the future. Without them relationships and friendships would not be formed. Of course I was not always like this, I admit that I have treated people awfully and not listened to their opinon, especially the guys that I have been in a relationship before, so I am truly sorry. However there are so many people that feel good about seeing others suffer and hurt, they enjoy watching people's lives fall apart. This is not only saddening but also evil. These are the people that are self centred and try to persue our hopes and dreams will never come true. The best thing that you can be done is to erase them out of our lives forever, why should we watch our pain be enjoyed by others. Forget drama,forget confrontation and forget arguments simply get them out of your life. This can be a person who you considered to be someone you cared about. Have the courage and faith in yourself that you can suceed and that you deserve the best in life.

Other than those are being intentionally cruel there are some people that act this way because they have forgotten how it felt like to be happy. They are over whelmed with being in stress and and lost in their troubles and worries. Having to deal with problems like this can occur in relationships,friendships and familes. Sometimes putting on a smile can brighten up other's day and yours. I have this strange desire to help people, make them happy and ensure they have the best time possible. Many people say that I'm a nice person, I'm not I'm just here to fullfill my purpose.

learn to love yourself and others, be happy with yourself and the world around you and endless joys will flood into your life. I have an amazing group of friends and family that I truly care about, even the ones in class that I don't tend to speak to much often, and well I'm terrible when it comes to relationships so I won't even go there.

much l o ve

i dislike it when girls talk bad about their ex's. i mean no offense yes some guys are can really idiotic but there is no need to talk badly about someone after they could have changed. man my grammer is not good today. but seriously it really bugs me that girls are so in love with their boyfriends when they are in a relationship and when the guy does something wrong its over and they hate each other.
this seriously applies to me as well, i used to be a real bitch to the guys that i had been with before and i can actually say that i am truly sorry but i have never hated any of them. hate's a strong word and i dont believe it should be messed about with in everyday life. i believe in second chances mostly because i have been give many and i do believe that from them people do change. however if you criticise someone and make them feel awful by telling them you hate them imagine how they would feel. i hate to say it but it is mostly girls who do this as well, not trying to be biast in anyway. i seriously dont even know why i wrote this, i was getting quiet bored. sorry for the bad punctuation and grammer :')

I hate not being able to forget some people

one of my dreams that became a reality

FINALLY brought my katy perry tickets today! phew i was extremely worried that they would be sold out so i was praying and hoping that they had at least two left for me and ella. i dont really sort of write this kind of blog genre, just like diary writing but i think i could probably get used to it.

the realization of katy perry still hasn't sunk in properly, it will seem more real when it comes closer to the date.

this week has been mock exams throughout, however the odd matter is that i actually enjoyed myself and the exams. most of them were really easy like sociology and statistics however i.t and welsh were just terrible, especially welsh. i think that this year i really want to try in school, no drama no guys nothing. just study and stuff. this week i also went to central perk with habbiba, caitlyn, nadira,sayda,arman, alika and charlie it was fun, i just wished that ella and louise were there as well they would have really enjoyed it. but saturday was just the best day!

first me and ella got our katy perry tickets for october, then we went to the library when louise came. it seems blunt but honestly it was such a fun day.

lmfaaaaaao lloyd was just telling me about how ryan is sleeping on the floor drooling, maybe i find it funny because i laugh at most things.

importance of reliance

it has only been in the recent weeks that i have realised how much we depend on others in our everyday lives. most of us pride ourselves on being self sufficient but the truth is that we rely on others in every aspect of life. Every single thing we do is based around others, whether it is choosing what to wear for the day, buying something for lunch or simply having a nice warm shower in the afternoon. if it were not for others they way they judges us, it would not matter what we wore each day because we would dress how we wanted. If it weren't for others and their skills in cooking we would have to make our own lunch everyday, and if it werent for the hard work of others we would not have hot and clean water rushing through our taps on a daily basis.

when we are sad we rely on other people to make us happy and unbeat. when we are happy we need other people to see and recongnise our happiness in order to validate it. we require other people to judge our looks and tell us whether we are ugly, pretty, skinny, fat , tall or short. the reliance on other people is important in life as we move forward and learn to love but it also falls back on us as wer rely on less on our own thoughts and more on the thoughts of the judgment of others. depression can be brought on by the feelings of uslessness and indequacy that are triggered by the other people and thier successes. it sounds pathetic and selfish but when you think about it how can you feel indequate if you have nothing to live up to?

the majority of people spend their entire life searching for the one, for their partner that is made to make them feel compelete. one of the main accomplisments in an adult life is getting marries which reietrates the importance of finding another person to make yourself feel compeled. on of the first things asked as a teenage girl is ' do you have a boyfriend' this constant questioning about a teenagers reliance on another person can make someone who is not with a partner feel mediocre and outisde the social norm.
however, the teen years are the most important times for finding ones identity and a place in the world and is one of the key times to find out the truths about the world. it is a times to learn that no everyone is going to be trustworthy and caring, people will hurt you and let youd own but that just about leaning who are they ones that you should care about. the only people worth bothering about in your life are the ones that bother you, and the ones you trust and you truly care about. you life is too short to be wasted on people who would not waste theirs on you.

sometimes it can take something dramatici to realise how important other people eand relationships are in your life, such as death or ilness in a loved one or the illness in yourself that requires help from someone else. luckily ive realised that.

much love

soulmates?

I believe in a lot of things but for some apprant reason I can never get my head around to think about someone that is going to be exactly like me, the person who is just right. We all want the perfect guy, or if we're a boy we would want the perfect girl, however hard we try we are never going to find them. I like to believe I'm going to meet someone who is going to be different, exciting, someone who is going to like the same interests as me. They have to be different but not that different. It's like the saying that opposites attract.

If we spend all of our time searching for that perfect person, then I can tell you that we're never going to find them. However amazing and great a person is seen by the eyes of others we can still find mistakes in everybody. Like the good old Hannah Montana song nobody's perfect. cheeesy.

its strange but true that we can find love in the places where we never thought of.
wish me luck with the exams
much love